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Trap #2 of New Year's Resolutions: Inappropriate goals

New Year's resolution: Goals that align with your true self

In my work as a Life Potential Coach, I often encounter the challenge that New Year's resolutions and personal values do not match. This is a common problem that prevents many people from truly achieving their goals. The conflict arises when we set resolutions that don't really match who we are or who we want to be.

A person looking in the mirror at a reflection of what they would like to become.

Let me give you an example: A patient of mine, Laura, took it upon herself to meditate every day because she had heard how good it was for her well-being. But Laura is very active by nature and quickly found that sitting still was more stressful than relaxing for her. Her resolution was at odds with her true self. It wasn't until we found a way to turn her activity into a form of meditation through dynamic yoga that she began to feel the benefits.

Another example is the famous writer Mark Twain. He once decided to quit smoking but was unsuccessful because he saw smoking as part of his creative process. It was only when he realized that he could be creative without smoking that he was able to leave that part of his life behind.

These examples show that it's not just about what we do, but why we do it. It's about recognizing our true values and making choices that reflect those values. Ask yourself the question: Is this resolution really for me? Will it make me happier and more fulfilled?

It is important that we learn to listen to our inner voice. As philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche said: "He who has a why to live can bear almost any 'how.'" When our intentions are aligned with our why, our deepest beliefs, and values, we will find ways to achieve them.

But be careful not to lie to yourself. It's easy to convince ourselves that a solution is right for us just because it's popular or recommended by others. This is where self-reflection comes in. Let's take the time to really look inside ourselves and ask: Is this really my goal, or is it something I think I need to achieve?

Finally, I encourage you to break the second trap of New Year's resolutions by aligning your goals with your true self. It's a journey that requires courage and honesty, but in the end, you will achieve goals that are not only fulfilling but also a true expression of who you are and want to be. Remember, your goals should be your bridge to true happiness, not a path that takes you away from yourself.


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