Masks vs Identity: Who We Are – Between What Serves and What Was

You are not what happened to you, but what you choose to do with it.This phrase—half intuition, half promise—touches something deeply human. It reminds us that our identity is neither a mere sum of past events nor a façade we build in the present. It is, rather, a continuous flow between memory and intention, between what shaped us and what we decide to embody.

In Bodymind work, this idea becomes tangible. It takes form in a breath that contracts, in a chest that expands, in feet that struggle to feel the ground. It is here that we encounter two essential aspects of our being:the conscious mask, which we wear to face the present,and the unconscious mask, which we carry as an adaptation from the past.

The conscious mask: what is necessary in the present

This mask is neither deception nor falsehood. It is a choice, even when not fully conscious. It helps us exist in the world, relate to others, and respond to what life demands in the moment.

We recognize it easily: it’s the confident posture when we need to appear strong, the composed smile that masks emotional turbulence, the steady voice we adopt even when we feel unsure.

Theoretically, this concept was explored in depth by Judith Butler, an American philosopher and feminist theorist. In her work Gender Trouble, she describes identity as performative—not something we are, but something we become through repeated actions, gestures, and words.

In a complementary way, Erving Goffman, a Canadian sociologist, viewed social life as a series of stages. In his model, we play different roles depending on the context: the “frontstage” for public performance and the “backstage” for private self. These are not signs of inauthenticity but of adaptive intelligence.

On a physical level, these dynamics translate into visible forms: structured posture, functional gestures, muscular tone under control. Often this conscious mask works well—it allows us to move forward in life.

However, as Paul Ekman, a psychologist who studied facial expressions and emotions, has shown, cultures develop implicit rules about how and when to express emotions. These “display rules” often lead us to regulate or suppress what we feel. Over time, this regulation can distance us from our embodied experience.

In Bodymind Therapy, recognizing the conscious mask is an act of liberation—not to reject it, but to use it with awareness. It becomes a tool we can choose, rather than a costume we wear by habit.

The unconscious mask: what worked in the past

Then there is another mask—deeper, less visible, but perhaps even more influential. It is the part of us we did not choose, the one our body and psyche developed early on to keep us safe.

This mask is not worn—it is embodied. Not displayed—it lives in us.It is the body holding its breath to avoid being noticed, the shoulders bracing for impact, the automatic smile that once prevented rejection.

Wilhelm Reich, Austrian doctor and psychoanalyst, was one of the first to observe how the body retains personal history. His theory of “character armor” describes how muscular structure reflects psychological defenses. Emotions that could not be expressed became frozen in the body as tension, rigidity, and holding patterns.

Carl Gustav Jung, psychiatrist and founder of analytical psychology, described this aspect of the self as the persona—a mask developed to fit into society. If this persona remains unconscious, we may mistake it for our authentic self.

In more recent years, Stephen Porges, a neuroscientist and author of the Polyvagal Theory, offered further insight into these patterns. He explains how our autonomic nervous system encodes relational experiences and reacts automatically—through shutdown, freeze, or fight-or-flight—even long after the original threat has passed.

In narrative terms, Dan McAdams, a psychologist who studies personality, revealed how each person constructs a life story. But when that story is shaped by trauma or limiting beliefs, our imagined destiny is often confined to what once worked—but may no longer serve us.

In Bodymind Therapy, the unconscious mask is met through the body. It is there that forgotten truths live. There, we begin to feel that the past is still present—and it is from that place that healing can begin.

The meeting of the two masks: a possibility for embodied truth

These two masks—what serves us now and what once kept us safe—are not in conflict. They are two voices, two strategies, two expressions of our way of being in the world.

Transformation occurs when we become capable of listening to both. When we can ask, with gentleness and depth: this posture, this tone, this gesture… does it belong to now, or is it a response to an old story asking to be heard?

It is not about unmasking to find a “true self” underneath, but about becoming choosable. Freedom is not a naked identity—it is an embodied awareness.

In Bodymind Therapy, this process begins with the body. Through breath, grounding, and sensation, we learn to distinguish between performance and authenticity.And from that awareness, something can emerge—not just something constructed or inherited,but something alive.

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References

Judith Butler – Gender Trouble (1990): American philosopher who introduced the concept of performativity in identity, particularly in the context of gender.

Erving Goffman – The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life (1959): Canadian sociologist who described social life as a series of staged performances.

Paul Ekman – Emotion in the Human Face (1972): Psychologist and expert in emotional expression and facial micro-expressions.

Wilhelm Reich – Character Analysis (1933): Psychoanalyst who developed the theory of muscular armoring and the psychosomatic expression of trauma.

Carl Gustav Jung – Two Essays on Analytical Psychology (1953): Founder of analytical psychology; introduced concepts like persona, shadow, and individuation.

Stephen Porges – The Polyvagal Theory (2011): Neuroscientist who explored how the nervous system reacts to safety and danger, shaping relational behavior.

Dan McAdams – The Redemptive Self (2006): Psychologist who studied life stories and how people create narrative identities based on early experiences.